After he arrived at my place, he got a phone call saying his grandmother was being sent to the emergency room. When I went onto Facebook within a few days to see how his family was doing, I noticed he changed my status to ‘limited profile,’ so I couldn’t access everything on his page.
After that, all communication from him died.” -Allison G., 26Expert take: Social media can create transparency and a false sense of familiarity, Kerner says.
It’s also easy to build up a fantasy of what someone is like when you’re long distance.
“The weekend didn’t live up to your expectations—but what really happened is that this guy didn’t live up to the expectations that you had created over the prior few months,” says Lissa Coffey, relationship expert and author of Her take: “I used a dating site a few years ago and was linked up with someone that didn't have a photo on his profile.
Those who use phrases similar to “hoping to be friends first” are usually looking for fun rather than commitment, says Laurie Davis, founder and CEO of e Flirt Expert, and author of You can also weed out the casual sex seekers by looking at the context around your planned date: Is he willing to set up a date for a week or so later?
Meet for coffee or in a place where you can hear each other talk?
We found 10 women in your situation and asked experts to give their insights on what happened so you can dodge future dating disasters.
Men want a woman who needs them and asks things of them, Davis adds.
So if you ever feel like you’re bending to his every will and aren’t getting as much out of the relationship as he is, reevaluate things.
But if he's describing himself as an "entrepreneur" and refuses to get more detailed or refers to his job situation as "complicated" instead of being up front, that should be a red flag. Either he's seeing someone else and doesn't want to be spotted out with another woman in his hometown, he doesn't see a future with you and doesn't want you knowing where he lives just so he can keep his distance, or he's basically a hoarder and he doesn't want you to see the state his place is in.
If he doesn't have a job, it's understandable that he won't want to lead with that, but if he won't even elaborate when pressed, he either (1) does something shady as hell for a living or (2) is just fine with lying a lot.14. It's one thing if he's being a gentleman and doesn't want you to make a long drive out to see him.