Sometimes it takes a long time to get over someone. We goaded each other to take the weight-lifting class beginning in the studio – unbeknownst to me, that would make it his third hour in the gym for the day. On our third date, as we walked to our table at a local restaurant, a woman who knew him said, “So will you be shipping out too?I first noticed Christian at my gym two years before I actually met him. Apparently, he had noticed me too, but neither of us did anything about it for two years. ” I had heard rumors that the local guard troop may be deploying to Iraq, but I was in denial that this may mean that Christian would ship out, too.I think my interaction with them played heavily in my desire not to be an “army wife.” When I saw him for the last time on the East Coast, he told me he was thinking of moving there and would continue his involvement in the Army Reserves.I told him not to move to the East Coast on my account.That pretty much brought things to a screeching halt.I haven’t heard from him since, but I think about him all the time … ” After relaying this story to my therapist he said to me, “Don’t you see a parallel between your desire to always fix your parents’ marriage and falling in love with a soldier that you’re always trying to rescue? I suppose that’s why he’s the therapist and I’m the patient.As a historian, I knew about the difficulties of life on the homefront and maintaining a relationship with someone in combat.Even with all of the modern communication techniques, it doesn’t change the fact that he’s in a war zone being seriously messed up mentally.
He had been forthcoming about some things about his time in Iraq, but most of it he kept to himself.Okay, so you may still be wondering what’s wrong with that… I detest anything having to do with war, especially the ill-motivated Middle East conflict.I had done the long-distance thing before and was very hesitant to have one with a soldier in a war zone.Mike is a former US Army Captain with two tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan.Mike shares openly about some of the struggles and how to overcome them when your loved one is deployed.