Playful, outdoorsy, health conscious.") If you're up at 7 AM for a sunrise hike, or give yourself the heavy guilt trip when you skip a leg day at the gym, congrats! Enjoy your own people, have fun at your mud runs, and please, take them off the hands of people like me, whose idea of a strenuous workout is crossing an entire outlet mall in a leisurely four hours. If Fedora The Explorer is your type, then *slot-machine noises* you've just won big. It is not my Tinder profe pic, but it was my FB profile pic many years back because my rack looks great in it.) Grainy photos taken with a webcam in the dude's basement, mere feet where he'll likely eventually store you after whatever ritual he has in mind; Smiling close-ups that reveal all of his teeth; posing next to women whose eyes he's covered with X's; sharpening his hatchet. "Fooooled Youuuu." Keep swiping, left, right, left… Sure, you're "secreting" him onto this app as we speak, but The Perfect Man will play coy, avoiding Tinder at all costs.
Related: You were wondering when baby tigers were going to come up, weren't you? But if you, like me, will only accept perfectly carved goatees on ex-Backstreet Boys members and Riff-Raff ONLY, then left it is and let's move on. Photos of him brewing beer in small batches; carelessly strumming his acoustic guitar while admiring a distant sunrise; heavily filtered pictures of him and his attractive friends at a farm-to-table brunch; selfies resembling one of the cards in the game "Guess Who?
The Animal Lover is perhaps the most confusing of all Tinder types.
Sometimes Vegan, depending on where the moon is in its cycle. "Just moved here from Europe, and would love someone to explore the city with.
I don't own stocks or anything, but I love following the latest business and trade news." His response to this: "You're telling me 3. Only problem with this date: He lied to me—he lied . Since most of my talking dates seemed to make men insult me or lie to me, I thought I'd make one date all about hair flips, eyelash batting, and playing with my clothes and jewelry. It's a numbers game, and hopefully if you talk to enough people, at least one of them will be semi-normal.
Ask for Advice: The next gentleman seemed excited to be able to help me and answer all my questions. I LOLed like I was watching Richard Pryor in his prime during my brief date with this guy, and spoiler alert, even though he was not a very funny person, he was on Cloud 9! Lesson: When all else fails, draw attention to your boobs! Looking back on the evening I see now that my opening line should have been to ask what their favorite Will Smith movies is...
(Well whose fault is it for living so close to a T. Even comedian Whitney Cummings gave it a try, to hilarious results.
In that span, I've gone on a few dates with nice enough guys, and know a few close friends who are pursuing serious relationships with their Tinder matches.